Wise words from Rita & Eckhart

www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/The-Complete-Webcast-of-Oprahs-Lifeclass-with-Eckhart-Tolle-Video

In this inspiring webcast by Oprah Winfrey & Eckhart Tolle (please click the link to view), we meet Rita (21 minutes in, though I encourage you to watch the whole thing), an audience member, who shares a wonderful lesson on not allowing other people to hurt you.   Rita says “I don’t any longer think it’s possible that other people can hurt me.  They’re just giving me their observation, and I’m giving it meaning, and so I get to choose what that meaning is.”

She then goes on to say that her favourite response when she’s receiving criticism is ‘You could be right’.  How magical is that?  It completely dissipates the negativity and transforms it into nothingness.   What the other person is saying to you is their opinion, they’re entitled to it and in their mind, it’s right.  That doesn’t mean that it has to be right for you.  You have a choice.   You can choose not to get upset, angry and to enter into an argument about it.   You can choose to ignore it, or act upon it, but it doesn’t have to hurt you anymore.

Imagine the next time someone criticises you “The house is too messy and you’re a slob”.  When you feel that hit you and the anger rise inside, it would be very easy to say “How dare you call me a slob, you’ve got no idea how busy I’ve been today and when was the last time you did any housework anyway?”  You can see where that’s going, it’s a one-way street to argument town and before you know it you’re shouting and screaming obscenities at each other.  You both end up feeling wounded, frustrated and exhausted.  Now what would happen if you replied “You know what, you might be right”?   Not a lot, as the comment is completely blown through you.  No sore spots hit, no chords struck, just inner peace allowing the negativity to dissolve into nothingness.

It works for positive comments too.  People say nice things to you, and you can become addicted to that.  You can live for the appreciation, the ego boost, and get hung up on it when you don’t receive it.  When you make a choice about how it’s going to affect you, you can decide that whilst it’s lovely to hear such things, you’re not dependant upon it.  You’re not going to feel sad if no one complimented you today.

You’re no longer dependant on what other people say.  You’re no longer a slave to other people hurting you and making you feel bad, or relying on an outsider to give value to your life.   You’re enough when you receive negative comments and you’re enough when you receive positive comments.   Repeat after me – ‘I’m enough’!   What an amazing place to be.  Thank you Rita, Oprah & Eckhart.